Bend It Like Schuetze
Actually, I wouldn't recommend bending, twisting or otherwise touching it like me. Seriously. My body is pretty much broken and bruised after another audition where I was required to play soccer again. Fortunately, this time wasn't as bad as the Coca-Cola one from a couple of weeks back - there was no asthma attack - but there was still a lot of pain involved.When I showed up to the park, this time off La Cienega in Beverly Hills, I was hopeful as there were no 7 foot Latin guys with matching uniforms. Rather, there was a diverse mix of people from all ages and ethnicities. Cool. After signing in I warmed up a bit with one of the other actors (named Elvis), kicking a ball back and forth, popping it up, etc. We were called over after a few minutes and a soccer coach with an English accent started giving us instruction as a camera videotaped Elvis and I. "Just pass the ball back and forth." Cool. Easy. I could totally do this. Even flipped it up some and got a bit fancy. "Pop it up more! Give it some air." Alright. A bit harder, but I was still in the game. "Faster, faster. Keep it going! Good. Stop. That's enough." After stopping I was pleased that I had managed to keep control of the ball and look competent. Elvis and I high fived each other and started walking back to the signout sheet. I was like, "That was easy." It was then I heard the English voice behind me once again, "Whoa. We're not done yet. Come back over here." We ran back over and then, much to my dismay the coach said, "That was just the warm up." Over the next fifteen minutes he had us enact several different soccer scenarios. "Elvis, I'm going to throw the ball up and you head it into the goal while Jeff jumps at the same time and pretends to head it away from you." "Jeff, you jump up and hit the ball with your chest while Elvis jumps into you." "Both of you jump up and collide with each other at the same time while I throw the ball above you." "Jeff, jump up, twist your body in mid-air, then do a bicycle-kick, kicking the ball into the goal when I throw it at you." I had to do that last one five times, coming down in the dirt onto my side all five times. I think I connected twice with the ball, but didn't make it near the goal. I thanked god when it was over.
When I woke up this morning, I could barely move.
Anyway, although I did take a lot of punishment, I think I did pretty well. If nothing else, I showed I can take a beating and keep coming back if that counts for anything. At least I don't think I did anything that would merit placement on the gag reel once they wrap the commercial, as was probably the case with my Coca-Cola audition. Yeah, I bled a little but I didn't feel absolutely crushed. I think that's as close to a "Rudy"-esque ending as I'm gonna get (Mitch).
2 Comments:
how did Elvis do?
Elvis was great - he couldn't do the kung-fu bicycle kick (who could!?) very well but he had skillz.
Post a Comment
<< Home