Octoberfest
Well, yet another Halloween has come and gone and all I want to do is to curl up in a ball and sleep for a week. There's only so much Halloween fun I can take and I reached my limit about a week before October 31st even got here.
The festivities started the first week of October when my brother-in-law Mike and I went to Magic Mountain's Fright Fest in Valencia. My sister Laura, and friends Elena, Steve, Don and Debbie also came along for the scares. This event is usually a good warmer-upper to the Halloween season as Magic Mountain generally doesn't have a lot of scary stuff to check out which means you can get through the whole park pretty quic
kly. In that way, this year did not disappoint. However, in lieu of there being few scares via mazes or spectacles, we usually take to the roller coasters to fill the time, which, this year, were either not working (as was the case with Tatsu, which broke down after we had stood in line for 40 minutes) or understaffed (as was the case with The Riddler's Revenge, which took over an hour to ride as it seemed they only had one car going on the tracks at a time). Overall, lame. Although I'm sure we'll be back next year.
The following Friday I went to Universal Studio's Halloween Horror Nights with friends Kurtis, Kellie and Mitch. Kurtis had won the tickets by calling in to local radio station KROQ (I heard his call. Didn't realize it was him) so we all got in for free. We huddled in a light, misty rain, with the other KROQ people before being herded onto a tram (MC'd by KROQ DJ Psycho Mike and a Universal employee) which took us directly into the park, allowing us to bypass the entry crowds. Cool.The tram ride was decidedly PG-13 as we were regaled with True Hollywood Stories of a young starlet throwing herself off the Hollywood Sign, an actress being eaten by a starving pet after a fatal bender, and an Old Hollywood Star being killed with a black dildo forced down his throat. These more mature stories were told only to us KROQ folk, as we soon found out an hour or so later as we were waiting in line for The Mummy ride. For some reason, known only to him, Kurtis suddenly turned to an African American couple behind us and asked, "So, on the tram ride, did they tell you about Ramon Navarro being killed by the black dildo being shoved down his throat?" I don't remember the couple saying anything. They just exchanged nervous glances and tried to ignore the question. Kurtis pressed on. "Did they? Because on our tram they told us about this BLACK dildo that killed this guy." One of them shook their head "no," slowly at this point, obviously trying to get the crazy man to drop the subject. "Seriously. A BLACK DILDO." Kurtis then turns back to a horrified Kellie, Mitch and me. "Right guys? Remember the BLACK DILDO!?" I look at him like I have no idea what he's talking about and say, "Noooo," quietly. Kurtis then tries to get Kellie and Mitch to back him up. "Tell them! The BLACK DILDO!!!" It's at this point that the line starts moving and the three of us turn from Kurtis and just walk away.
After The Mummy, someone had the bright idea to go on the Jurass
ic Park water ride, and for some reason, it sounded like a good idea at the time. Now, to make it scary, Universal decided to turn off all the lights during the ride, which made the whole thrill of seeing animatronic dinosaurs a completely futile endeavor. I could hear them and get splashed by them, I just couldn't see them. They might as well have sat us all on a waterbed in a dark room for five minutes since the experience would've been the same. Until the drop at the end, that is. For those that haven't been on the ride, you're basically in a large boat that goes by harmless Brachiasaurs and Hadrosaurs, all the while being spit at and chased (kinda) by Dilophosaurs, Raptors and a big Tyrannosaur. At the end, you must escape the Jurassic Park complex by plummeting down a big chute, at the bottom of which you get splashed by water. Unfortunately, I didn't get splashed so much as drenched. And it was cold out. And I was wearing layers of clothing that took a long time to dry. And I had friends that were pointing and laughing and taking pictures (Mitch!!!).We all got kinda bored with the park soon after, exited and had drinks and dessert at the Hard Rock on CitiWalk. Fun.
A week later, I found myself back at Universal Studios again, this time with Mike. The tram ride was better than the previous week, due to Universal putting some scripted scary elements outside the tram that weren't there the first time, even if the banter from our guide was strictly PG. No mention of BLACK dildos this time around, and I really didn't miss it.It wasn't too crowded and Mike and I got through all the mazes, rides and shows pretty quickly. I think we entered the park between 7 and 8pm, and were done by 11:30pm. Universal really doesn't do too much to the park to transform it into a "Horror Night" and while better than Magic Mountain, it's just kinda mediocre.
This was going to be a quick post, but it has gotten to be much less so. I gotta go and vote though, so I'll post this up now and finish the rest later. Tune in tomorrow for the conclusion of Octoberfest - I promise not to mention dildos, BLACK or otherwise, for at least a couple of weeks.
3 Comments:
Did he ask that couple about the BIG BLACK dildo because he thought they might know him? Kurtis thinks all black people know each other.
I'm sorry, did you say there was a BLACK dildo? I wasn't sure if I heard you right. Maybe you could repeat that part.
BLACK. dildo.
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