Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Underwhelmed

I saw Underworld Evolution over the weekend with some friends at the Cineramadome in Hollywood. I thought the first Underworld was ok, nothing to get excited about, but there were some good action sequences, Kate Beckinsale looked hot in black leather and it had a decent style to it. The story was kind of lame - sort of a star-crossed lovers tale set in a world of vampires and werewolves at war that took itself a bit too seriously. It's been a while since I've seen it but I remember questioning why the tale was even set within the werewolf/vampire mythology when it adhered to none of the tenets: getting changed into a vampire or werewolf wasn't so much as a curse as a blessing was the biggest error, I felt. Plus, there was no daylight in the first one, no sexual metaphors, no interest in delving into anything beyond, "wouldn't it be cool to have vampires and werewolves kill each other with guns a la The Matrix?" Yeah, the vampires have guns which fire bullets filled with silver nitrate and the werewolves (they call them lycans, here) fire bullets filled with UV light. Sure.

Evolution takes place right after the events of the first movie, and it packs more action, more creatures, and an almost naked Kate Beckinsale. This, however, doesn't add up to a better movie, just a louder, more confusing one that teases you. Having a good memory of the previous Underworld can only help, since characters and events from it are continually mentioned, although the filmmakers do their best to throw as many flashbacks in as possible, just in case you hadn't seen it or need a refresher, but in the end, it doesn't really matter. Wondering where the silver nitrate bullets are from the first movie (I guess they forgot them, but they sure would've been handy what with all those lycans running around), or why Selene is carrying around a corpse (why, so it can come back to life at an opportune moment!), or why Scott Speedman must be shirtless at all times (uh... you got me.), is futile. Just sit back in the theater and enjoy vampires and werewolves beating the hell out of each other if you're so inclined. Or just wait for the release of the dvd.

If the first Underworld was a love letter to (ripoff of?) The Matrix, then I must mention that Evolution seems to be an (unintentional?) homage to the Terminator movies -- there's that blue light cast over everything, there's the poking-people-in-the-shoulder-with-sharp-appendages-then-twisting gag, there's the oh-my-god-we-almost-died-let's-have-sex-and-create-mankind's-savior schtick, and there's the Sarah Conner-esque voice over at the end. Methinks someone involved must have a hard on for Cameron.

4 Comments:

At 1:20 PM, John K said...

You had me at "almost naked Kate Beckinsale"

 
At 11:26 AM, jefbot said...

heh. yeah, but will i lose you when i tell you that the "almost" is because of scott speedman's elbow/head/knee/ass/etc. constantly obstructing the view?

 
At 12:01 PM, fig said...

the unzipping of her top was wood worthy though.those things were crammed in there,nice!

 
At 7:55 PM, Michael said...

I haven't seen it yet!!! I told you not to talk about movies that I haven't seen yet!! ;)

 

Post a Comment

<< Home