Three-Hun-dred-Six-ty-Five-De-grees
I'm not sure why I forgot to mention this last week, possibly due to some sort of post-traumatic stress disorder, but my roommate Michael almost burned our apartment building down last Monday. Seems he was using the stove to boil water for tea in a newly-gotten kettle, when a dish towel placed too near the burners suddenly ignited. Luckily, I was at the kitchen table, 10 feet away, when this occurred.I remember first noticing a strange smell, then peripherally a bright light to my right caught my attention, which turned out to be a three foot column of fire. I reacted fairly swiftly and calmly - possibly due to my regular playing out of disastrous events in my head - assessing the situation, figuring out whether to take the time to fill a pot full of water and then throw the contents on the burning towel or turn the faucet on and carefully pick up the towel by its ends and douse the flame under the running water. I chose the latter.
It was around this time that I heard Michael ask innocently from the couch in the living room, "What's that smell?" At this point it would've been fully justified for me to stride into the living room with the sopping, smoldering, lump of smelly former-towel (pictured, above left) and throw it in his face yelling, "This, BITCH!" I refrained.
With Michael spending vast stretches of time unsupervised in the apartment, and my collection of comics, videogames, movie posters, dvds and toys at risk, I'm now thinking renter's insurance would be prudent.
10 Comments:
Who you callin, "bitch", BITCH!
too f'ing funny.Bitch!
oh, jeff. i feel for you.
:)shana
i'm scared, shana. hold me.
I told you... your type of people should always have renters insurance...(yes, I referred to you by "your type of people" and I mean exactly what you think it means! hahahahahahaha!)
What does she mean?
she means the type of people who are awesome and have cool stuff.
I think she means Asians
I'm not Asian.
i'm not? oh yeah, i'm latino-ish. forgot.
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