A Cautionary Tale
A few weeks back Michael and I went to see his friend James Snyder in the rock musical Rock of Ages, The Musical at the Vanguard Theatre in Hollywood. Everything started off great - the venue was huge with a standing room only crowd filled with industry people, there was a palpable excitement about the show buzzing through the audience, and we had great seats due to casting director extraordinaire K.P. and her beau Brian arriving early and saving them for us. With free lighters in hand to use during power-ballads or other appropriate moments, and other friends walking in as we waited, I was totally primed for the show to start. Then the alcohol started flowing.We had some time to kill before the show started so Michael bought a round of drinks for everyone, including a Kettle One on the rocks (no fruit) for me, that got us all loose and nodding heads to the cheezy 80's rock that was being pumped through the sound system. Then a leather-clad lady walked by with a tray full of free shots (I believe they were Kamikazes) that we all downed. A few minutes later, another tray came by with another round of shots for everyone. Soon after this, Michael bought another round of drinks, so another Kettle One was down the hatch. Then another lady and another tray. Right before the show started I had downed a Hefferweisen, and I don't really even drink beer, which is doubly strange because I distinctly remember drinking something out of a bottle by the time the lights went down. I think it was a Bud Light. Anyway, this level of drinking continued throughout the show.
I wish I could tell you what the show was about. I remember there was a love story between James and a hot girl, and I remember Kyle Gass of Tenacious D as the owner of a club, and I remember a lot of the plot being crudely fashioned to fit a storyline punctuated by 80's rock music a la Mamma Mia! But I don't remember much else due to my altered state. I really didn't even realize how smashed I was until the next day when I went out to breakfast with Michael and friends Mark and Brooke who were also at the show, who were talking about songs and plot points that I had no recollection of. I remember thinking, What German dude? They sang "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister? Whitesnake was played? Wha???What I do remember, I'd rather just forget, really. I kind of remember trying to fix my malfunctioning lighter by smashing it on the back of the chair in front of me, then throwing the parts on the floor. I kind of remember taking the pictures I found on my TREO the next day, some of them containing images of Jack Black and Lauren Graham at the reception after the show. And I kind of remember maybe stealing a shirt from the souvenir table, something I would never even consider when sober. I mean, I might not have stolen it, but I certainly don't remember paying for it, and the shirt is indeed, in my possession, so it doesn't look good as far as my innocence is concerned.
I must not have been the only one smashed however, as I do remember Michael yelling things out to the performers on stage frequently during the show. One very memorable instance of this was when James was
having a quiet moment, perhaps when he finally confesses his love for that girl, Sherrie (as in, "Oh, Sherrie" by Journey), when out of nowhere, cutting through the silence, Michael yells, "Take it off!" The audience erupted in laughter. What could have been an awkward moment was handled hysterically by James, who paused for the laughter to die down, then started to slowly pull his shirt off as if about to strip, which made the audience blow up with laughter and applause once again.Anyway, I don't know if I should tell you to see the show or not. I certainly enjoyed it, at least I think I did. Just stay away from the shots. And the vodka. Hell, whatever. Just make sure you have a designated driver with you if you're going to mix alcohol and theatre.
2 Comments:
Jeff, you got it all wrong. I said, "Take your shirt off!" Not, "Take it off!" I mean, seriously, who says, "Take it off" nowadays.
i stand corrected.
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