Friday, March 31, 2006

Twisted Sister

My birthday's coming up in just about a week and as such, my family's throwing me a birthday dinner this Sunday. My sister Linda asked me for a gift list a couple of weeks back, which I failed to deliver until today when I e-mailed her. What follows is her response:

You have emailed me so late - (like I emailed you 2 weeks ago about your present) - you now have a hairy and fuzzy present.

As for your dessert - you took a long time for that as well. So, now you have to have pie - Mom said she met you at the dentist and that's what you want. So now you have Hairy fuzzy presents and pie....

Linda >:(


I am not entirely sure what to make of this, i suppose the hairy and fuzzy present could be the ferret she's been scheming to smuggle out of New Mexico, but otherwise, why she's threatening me with fuzzy presents and pie, i can only speculate and fear.

Ouchie

Had to go to the dentist this morning at 9am to get some work done on my teeth. It's 4pm now and my jaw is still hurting, probably due to all the needles pumped full of novocaine they had to stick directly into the nerves of my teeth and gums to get them numb. For some reason, the lower and left side of my jaw are very resistant to novocaine, which makes it a challenge to keep me out of pain's reach. Basically, my dentist usually just numbs me up as much as possible, and then goes in and hopes for the best. Many times I find it an exercise of extraordinary will that I'm able to not let loose a primal scream and turn the drill on its owner whenever he gets too close to a nerve. Errk. Writing about this is actually making my teeth hurt more.

I blame my suffering on the aliens that abducted me and removed one of my back teeth when I was but a wee child. Whatever they did that night endowed me with the useless power to partially resist novocaine with my mouth. I'm not sure why they would do such a thing, what would they have to gain? I also blame my sister for tricking me into going to the dentist in the first place.

Thursday, March 23, 2006

BOOKING (Maybe) - ???

I haven't been posting regularly this week, I know. Part of the reason's because I've been so tired lately, and my thoughts have been just incoherent enough to render blogging nigh impossible. I did, however, manage to get in bed and fall asleep before 2am last night, which means I'm a little more in focus today, which is great because I have good news to share:

I'm thisclose to booking a small part in a low budget horror movie. It's not 100% yet, but my agent's working out the details right now. I'll write more when I hear something more concrete. Keeping fingers crossed.

Friday, March 17, 2006

Gunter glieben glauchen globen

So I went and saw the musical, Rock of Ages again, this time (mostly) sober. You might remember from a former post that when I saw this show the first time, I couldn't quite remember all the subtle nuances of the story due to the vast quantities of alcohol I had consumed prior to and during the show. Well, it turns out I might as well have boozed it up 'cuz I just didn't have as much fun this time around. Besides my blood-alcohol-level, there were a number of other factors contributing to the experience not quite being the same. It was at a different venue for one thing - RenMar Studios in Hollywood, which just wasn't as cool as the Vanguard. Also, I went with a slightly more conservative group, so wasn't as willing to rock out. The shots weren't free this time either - so yeah, I remember what the story was about, but the show's all about the music, so I found I didn't really miss all that much the first time around. The final and probably greatest contributing factor to the anti-fun was that the lead, friend James Snyder, wasn't in the show that night because he was shooting an episode of Without a Trace (or something akin), so we were subjected to his understudy instead. Not to say the understudy was bad, from a distance he kinda looked like James with flat hair, but y'know, he just wasn't James. I mean, would Michael have really yelled out "Take off your shirt!" to this guy? I think not.

Anyway, gotta congratulate James on his movie – a contemporary take on Shakespeare's Twelfth Night otherwise known as She's the Man – opening last week. I saw V for Vendetta instead (go see it, it's great), but will try and catch She's the Man in the next few days. You should too.

Thursday, March 16, 2006

Zzzz...

Man, I don't know what's been going on with me lately. A couple weeks ago I just couldn't get a good night's sleep, and not for lack of trying - I'd be completely exhausted throughout the day but once I got to bed I would just lie there, awake. Or if I did manage to fall asleep, I'd keep waking up throughout the night, tossing and turning, totally restless. This past week or so I've been able to fall asleep, more easily than usual actually, but no matter how much sleep I get, I just can't seem to shake being completely tired throughout the day. What's going on? Are the Earth's magnetic fields shifting? Am I being abducted by aliens? Did I get bitten by a tsetse fly?

I'm used to being somewhat tired all the time but this is ridiculous.

Monday, March 13, 2006

ABC Dee

Congratulations to my acting teacher, Dee Wallace, who has a hilarious new show on ABC called Sons & Daughters which premiered last Tuesday at 9pm. Yeah, I'm a little biased, so regard or disregard my thoughts on it as you will, but if you want to watch a skewed take on "family" semi-improvised by a talented cast, check out the 3rd episode tomorrow (they played back to back episodes last week), Tuesday at 9pm.

Of course Dee as Colleen, the judgmental mother of the main character, Cameron, played by Fred Goss (both pictured) is fantastic. She not only gets a lot of laughs throughout the first two episodes but also has an amazing scene where her character has an emotional breakdown after being unable to repress her anger and embarrassment at being the last family member to find out her husband of 25 years is leaving her. I love how this issue began in the first episode and has yet to be resolved - we'll see how they handle it in future episodes, but I'll bet they don't wrap it up with some neat, tidy bow like just about any other sitcom would.

Also, if you fear children acting as much as I do, fear not - the kids are great. Cameron's son and daughter, played by Eden Sher and Trevor Einhorn respectively, have some of the funniest scenes of the show. I'm hoping ABC puts up the weird, dark videos Trevor's character creates because they're just that funny and make me laugh. Otherwise, I'll have to find/make bootlegs.

Anyway, if you like the show and want to help it stay on the air, send a handwritten letter (apparently, handwritten letters carry more weight with the suits, but whatever you can do) to the address below and tell them just how much you like it:

Sons & Daughters
ABC Audience Relations
500 S. Buena Vista Street
Burbank, CA 91521-4551

Fin.

Thursday, March 09, 2006

Polarrhoids

As I mentioned in a post several months back, I will be documenting the polaroids taken of me in casting offices by posting them on my blog. This is to show:

1.) how hilariously bad audition polaroids can be as evidenced here

2.) how casting directors are trying to sabotage you*

The image above is one of the better polaroids I've had taken. Ever. It was from a bizarre Sprite audition I went on today that went really well. Hoping for a callback starting now.

I might start a page featuring the "best" audition polaroids from readers, so if you have one/some, email it/them to me with your name, project and date to jeff@monsteryou.com and I'll post them if I receive enough. Capture the image with your camera phone so it looks doubly bad.

*joking, yes. casting directors are lovely people who only have your best interests in mind, always.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Super Cornacchia Bros.

Since we're on the subject of Michael, I'll recap what happened a couple of weeks back during his birthday.

Well, during the week of February 23rd, my roommate Michael and his twin brother Christopher marked their birthday with an impressive, week long orgy of food and alcohol. I managed to avoid being crushed by their revelry only due to my m-f work schedule and short film shoot over the weekend which kept me out of harm's way for the majority of the week. I didn't exactly remain unscathed however, as I attended their first soiree Thursday night at Micelli's, an Italian restaurant in Hollywood, where I was promised a small, quiet evening with a couple of close friends and family members. In reality a group of 20-30 friends showed (I suppose Michael could consider this an intimate group as he tends to do everything BIG), drinking and eating and helping our waiter, Stotski, to belt out "That's Amore," opera-style to Mike and Chris, right before he served them some Birthday Spumoni. I must admit, due to the jocularity of everyone present, I did have an outstanding time, but with my callback the next day for Malcolm and the Captured shoot looming, I couldn't help but hold back a bit on the alcohol although I couldn't be stopped from tearing up my baked ziti. A couple of days later on Saturday night was even worse as I was burned out from the long shoot for Captured, but had to attend another party for Michael and Chris as this was the real party, the official party for the Brothers Cornacchia, if you will. Even more people showed up for this one at the Spanish Kitchen on La Cienega - I lost count at 75 since I showed up at 10:30pm and stumbled out sometime after midnight, smelling of smoke, vodka and Bohemia beer.

Thankfully, Michael's and Christopher's mother Grace came out from Philly to partake in the festivities and worked some daily, arcane cooking magic in the kitchen with tomato sauces, herbs and meat. Although humoring a diet for the past couple of weeks, I could not help but pilfer from the generous quantities of meatballs, pasta and stromboli that were constantly appearing around the apartment and whose sole purpose on this planet was to be eaten. Actually, I was helpless to the call of this food as there's a small strand of Italian DNA in my genetic makeup that would not be denied.


click here for more images from Cornacchia Week 2006.

Monday, March 06, 2006

And the Award for Biggest Surprise of the Night Goes to...

No, not "Crash."

Congrats to my roommate Michael Cornacchia, who made an appearance on the Academy Awards show last night! A short film he was featured in, "Our Time Is Up" directed by Rob Pearlstein, was nominated for an Oscar, and the clip they aired on the broadcast showcased his mug for millions to see. Wow, so young and he's already made it to the Academy Awards. Cool.

Click on the image to enlarge.

Friday, March 03, 2006

PRODUCER'S CALL - Pepper Dennis

I just got back to the office after leaving for an audition for The WB's new romantic comedy, Pepper Dennis starring Rebecca Romijn a few hours ago. It was a last minute thing - my agent Gwenn called me and said something along the lines of, "Well, you didn't get Malcolm in the Middle, but you were close and they want to bring you in for something else!" Sweet! Cut to a couple hours later and I'm in the casting office waiting room at Fox Studios with ex-Laker Rick Fox sitting across from me. I don't think we were up for the same part.

Wow. Sally Stiner, the casting director, is just the coolest. Thinking of me for this show after our initial meeting for the "Malcolm" callback is just killer. As my super-agent Gwenn said, "Well, that's one door open, now we have to open the rest of them." Hope I didn't let either of them down. I didn't feel quite as good about this audition as the "Malcolm" one, but you never know. Like that audition, this one was a great experience, and a great learning experience. I'll be taking stuff I did/didn't do into the next one.

Thursday, March 02, 2006

A Cautionary Tale

A few weeks back Michael and I went to see his friend James Snyder in the rock musical Rock of Ages, The Musical at the Vanguard Theatre in Hollywood. Everything started off great - the venue was huge with a standing room only crowd filled with industry people, there was a palpable excitement about the show buzzing through the audience, and we had great seats due to casting director extraordinaire K.P. and her beau Brian arriving early and saving them for us. With free lighters in hand to use during power-ballads or other appropriate moments, and other friends walking in as we waited, I was totally primed for the show to start. Then the alcohol started flowing.

We had some time to kill before the show started so Michael bought a round of drinks for everyone, including a Kettle One on the rocks (no fruit) for me, that got us all loose and nodding heads to the cheezy 80's rock that was being pumped through the sound system. Then a leather-clad lady walked by with a tray full of free shots (I believe they were Kamikazes) that we all downed. A few minutes later, another tray came by with another round of shots for everyone. Soon after this, Michael bought another round of drinks, so another Kettle One was down the hatch. Then another lady and another tray. Right before the show started I had downed a Hefferweisen, and I don't really even drink beer, which is doubly strange because I distinctly remember drinking something out of a bottle by the time the lights went down. I think it was a Bud Light. Anyway, this level of drinking continued throughout the show.

I wish I could tell you what the show was about. I remember there was a love story between James and a hot girl, and I remember Kyle Gass of Tenacious D as the owner of a club, and I remember a lot of the plot being crudely fashioned to fit a storyline punctuated by 80's rock music a la
Mamma Mia! But I don't remember much else due to my altered state. I really didn't even realize how smashed I was until the next day when I went out to breakfast with Michael and friends Mark and Brooke who were also at the show, who were talking about songs and plot points that I had no recollection of. I remember thinking, What German dude? They sang "I Wanna Rock" by Twisted Sister? Whitesnake was played? Wha???

What I do remember, I'd rather just forget, really. I kind of remember trying to fix my malfunctioning lighter by smashing it on the back of the chair in front of me, then throwing the parts on the floor. I kind of remember taking the pictures I found on my TREO the next day, some of them containing images of Jack Black and Lauren Graham at the reception after the show. And I kind of remember maybe stealing a shirt from the souvenir table, something I would never even consider when sober. I mean, I might not have stolen it, but I certainly don't remember paying for it, and the shirt is indeed, in my possession, so it doesn't look good as far as my innocence is concerned.

I must not have been the only one smashed however, as I do remember Michael yelling things out to the performers on stage frequently during the show. One very memorable instance of this was when James was having a quiet moment, perhaps when he finally confesses his love for that girl, Sherrie (as in, "Oh, Sherrie" by Journey), when out of nowhere, cutting through the silence, Michael yells, "Take it off!" The audience erupted in laughter. What could have been an awkward moment was handled hysterically by James, who paused for the laughter to die down, then started to slowly pull his shirt off as if about to strip, which made the audience blow up with laughter and applause once again.

Anyway, I don't know if I should tell you to see the show or not. I certainly enjoyed it, at least I think I did. Just stay away from the shots. And the vodka. Hell, whatever. Just make sure you have a designated driver with you if you're going to mix alcohol and theatre.